Free to Love

The lines between what what was right and what was wrong blurred the moment I met you. The things I had been taught, the things I taught myself, all changed when I felt your electricity. In your presence each belief I held about myself somehow changed, and the world became a confusing place.

I was taught not to trust. I was taught that love comes with conditions. I was taught that religion was to be held above spirituality, and that God would be angry if I faulted.

I believed I was destined to be alone in my heart and that love was only something I could feel for others, but no one could feel for me. I believed I was unworthy of happiness and peace. I believed that you would never come.

Then you did. And I felt it all in one moment. Every moment built upon the last, and every thought exchanged only deepened my desire to know you more. Your touch released a passion in me I never knew was there, and your kiss burned your spirit into my heart. You have penetrated my my soul with your being.

You broke down all of my boundaries, and I broke all of my rules to come to you. I have never been happier in my life than when I am with you. I have never felt so free to love. Even more, I have never felt so free to love myself. I belong to no one. I don't owe anything to anyone except to be the best human being I can be to everyone, equally. And the lie I have been living up until now was unfair; to everyone, but most of all, to myself.

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Everywhere

Drenched with thirst
For your kiss
To breathe your breath
To chew your words
And swallow them like chocolate
Smooth, sweet, satiating

Lust claws at me
From an unknown depth
Ravenous for your touch
Your hands,
Your mouth,
Your kiss,
Your tongue
To breathe your words into me

Listen
My heart is trembling
For your hands
To wash over me
Exploring my outside
Revealing me inside

Look into my eyes
Let me look into yours
I see the abyss of secrets
Thoughts, ideas, desires
Kiss me with your ideas
Breathe into me your dreams
Lick my tongue and taste my desire

Touch me everywhere

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Sing to me

I heard it in one word
You washed over me
As rain must hit the ground
As rivers to the sea

I heard not the words you said
I heard the sound you emanate
A song my soul had sung
My mind began to salivate

Sing more words
The way you do
Without a voice
They still come through
Sing to me
I hear your song
For your next verse
My heart does long

You love the words as I
Not spoken but in pen
They fill me deep inside
They flood me from within

Like your kiss
When you're inside
My mouth, my teeth
No where to hide
You feel me shake
You wear my skin
My body aches
Deep deep within

Sing your song
I long to view
Everything
Inside of you
Let me in
Your mind so deep
I want to hear
The songs you keep

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The Seedling

There is a little seedling
Hidden deep inside
This tiny piece of me
That I must keep inside

I keep her from the world
And hold her near my heart
Afraid to let her out
And just be torn apart

She never sees the sunlight
She never knows the rain
She never sees a smile
She never sees the pain

So pure and oh, so precious
I must keep her safe within
She never gets to grow
Her life cannot begin

You looked into my eyes
You saw into my heart
You tilled up all the soil
And gave my seedling a start

You touched her with your words
You touched her with your hands
You shined the sun upon her
You shared with her your land

Your smile gave her hope
To grow up to the sky
You gave back to me the faith
That I just have to try

She's growing toward the sun
She's gazing at the stars
She knows not what lies ahead
Or of the road so far

She grows because she must
She's pushing from inside
Her tiny little blossom
No longer can I hide

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What Have I Done?

I am asking myself, "Seriously, what have I done?" The magnitude of my choices overwhelm me from time to time. What have I done, indeed.

Life shouldn't be reactionary, it should be a thoughtful, plotted course of action, based on good decisions, humanity, healthy living, and kindness. Yea, right. I see my life over years and years as an odd balance of some good, well thought decisions and many emotion-filled, gut reactions. Sometimes the good decisions are a repair for my gut reactions, and sometimes it goes the other way around.

My marriage was a good decision. Wise, well thought choice, in the best interest of others. I had no time to think of myself, because I was last on the list of importance. My happiness fell somewhere below taking care of my daughter, paying bills, and having stability. Over time, my happiness fell completely off the radar, and I was left with the wreckage of my good decision.

When it was over I swore "Never Again!" I would never feel for anyone, I would never let anyone in, let anyone see inside, feel my love, feel my pain. He had robbed me of the desire to know love because after that marriage I didn't believe love was real; it was nothing but a lie.

Then came you. You were this emotion-driven, passion-filled, wild, untamed, irrational, reaction. Your first kiss sent all reason out of my mind, all logic, and left me writhing in desire. I felt you. You were the first thing I had felt in years, and I wanted to feel you again and again.

In the quiet moments, I look at the wreckage of my gut reaction, and question myself. I ponder the harm I've caused others, the harm I may have caused you, the harm I may be causing myself that I just don't see on the horizon, and I worry that there's some price to pay for all of this joy.

You touch my hand, smile at me, and I see my home in your eyes, and suddenly, I don't remember what I was thinking. . .

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Coffee Shop

The couple tickles and giggles behind me

In the coffee shop on their first date

Looking at one another with hope and promise

Willing to gamble for that taste of fate

I see you across the table from me

You're working with concerted endeavor

Furrowed brow, mind filled with thought

Typing your words with determined fervor

Do you know I watch you? Long for you? That I can't concentrate when the wind blows over you and fills me with your scent?

Your eyes are filled with thoughts and spirit

My heart is filled with a hope come true

I found my love, my promise, my fate

When I found my home inside of you.

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Drop of Water

I am a drop of water on the enormous oceans surface

Though completely infintesimal I still have a great purpose.

Can't move the mighty mountain, only push a grain of sand

But with strength of heart and fortitude I am a flood upon the land

Destination blindness won't prevent my destiny

As the forces of the universe work in harmony with me

The wind does blow, the tide does rise to push me along the way

Is it me or is it God, for certain I can't say

The path that lay before me is surely mine alone to fill

To reach my full potential I must gather all my will

No stone may block, no force can hold a drop of water on it's way

Push ahead, must push ahead, my destiny today.

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Kiss You

I kissed your lips goodbye, sweet Love
Though only for the day
But now the sun's begun to set
And led me far away

The love you gave, the love you took
Filled my heart with joy unmeasured
Those kisses you gave with ecstasy
In my heart I'll always treasure

Speak well of me in days ahead
Remember how our souls met
With love I leave you here and now
And our time I'll not regret

So kiss me in your sleep tonight
When I come to see your smile
Our souls met and loved one another
If only for awhile

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