Beaten

My heart broke with your anger

I wanted to please you

I wanted to be the one

Who made you smile

So you would love me

And cherish me

The way my Father did.

I made mistakes and you yelled

You shouted

You left me without options

With no choices

And I failed

Everyday

To bring you joy

To bring you peace.

I wanted to show you I could love

That you were worthy of love

That you deserved love

I wanted love

But you could not love

Because I was a failure.

I didn't really love you

I needed you

Your approval

Because I hated myself so

I was raised on hate

I was raised on fear

Approval kept me from being beaten

If you didn't approve

I failed

And I was beaten.