Pain of Sin

I dreamed my Lover came to me and told me not to fear.

I dreamed my Father came to me and told me he was near.

I woke awash in moonlight knowing sunlight was my terror,

Because I felt that there was no forgiveness of my selfish error.

Put myself before all others was the crime I had committed.

The truth that lie inside my heart I had finally admitted,

By looking in my Lover's soul, he had harmed another.

Pushed passed the limits of right and wrong so we could be together.

The pleasure of the love we've shared served as my only Novocaine.

To numb the pain inside myself that had filled me with such great disdain.

I long to be released from the prison of my judgement,

But the longing to escape myself simply refuses to just relent.

I dreamed my Lover came to me and told me not fear.

I dreamed my Father came to me and told me he was near.

I want so badly to believe them and forgive all my wrongdoing.

It was not to harm, but to just to love, the goal I was pursuing.

But harm befell, and tears were shed and a heart cries out in vain,

And with every tear that's shed by her adds to the prison of my pain.

How can I look into the eyes of others and know that I've done right,

When I wake awash with my deep guilt at the end of every night?

To be released from my own sin would be my greatest gift.

I know that this great burden is mine alone to lift.

I dreamed my Lover came to me and told me not to fear.

I dreamed my Father came to me and told me he was near.

Today I will begin to tear away at this exacerbated pain,

And believe that all I've done has not been all in vain.

I need a shred of truth to hold to push forward and forgive.

I need to grasp the hand of God to believe that I should live.

Please reach for me Father, and forgive me for my sins.

Heal the break that allows the pain to seep from deep within.