The Older I Get

The older I get
The less I want people
The more I live in my mind
The less on the outside
The less I seek relationships
With anyone

Maybe because I don't trust
Because I've learned more
Because I'm finally filled up inside
Filled with their lies and bullshit
Filled with my own self worth and love
Finally

Maybe I don't need their baggage
Their problems
Because I have enough of my own
My own baggage and bullshit
And the lies I tell myself
About self worth and love

The older I get
The more I am burdened with baggage
That builds up along the road
The less I can carry
The less I'll tolerate
The less effort I'll give

The older I get
The more I want to be alone
In a desert
In a shack
Out of sight
Out of touch
Gone

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Broken Body

I am lost, set adrift. I am betrayed by my broken body.

I have plans. . . things to do. Everything halts.

Once again I scream in an emergency room from agonizing pain. My body breaks but my mind isn't ready to stop. My mind had things to do. My mind wants more.

Screaming and tears brings me to my knees, stopping all forward progress. I'm crushed to watch the rest of the world go on without me as I lay prisoner to my own failing body once again.

Piteous, vulnerable, broken. The bondage of weakness clamps down upon me. Plans wither and die.

Rest and heal this broken vessel in hopes to start again.

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